Today is the first day of the study week! Yay no lectures no labs and stuff. but that means exams are coming. Arrgghh I am so stressed out!
Can't believe I have been here in Launie for one semester already. Gosh.. time fly ey...
Lots of stuff happened during the weekend. My housemates moved out. Yes. 2 of 3 housemates of mine. Another one never come back since his Melbourne trip like erm.. 2 months ago. Rumour has it that he is currently working on some research work in Adelaide. I don't know. Phil and Ted thought that he got abducted by alien or something. So am I. haha... Man.. the house is darn quiet now I feel so sad and lonely. Well, good thing is I can study peacefully at home, which I doubt. That is why I am still here. procrastinating. Duhhh... I have been looking for a studio room for rent near my campus. Hopefully can find one and move in before I fly back to Malaysia.
Then come news about my friend. Bestie group back in Perth I guess... Heard that he started to smoke. I am quite surprise. But then again, thinking that he is quite young *one year younger than me* I guess its just what kids do nowadays *derhh.. sounds like elderly*. there is awkward situation between us since the start of the year. He confessed to us that he like one of us, not me obviously. Now I feel that everything become goddamn awkward. All the good time we spent together like trip to Hong Kong and Sydney together with all the crazy time has now become memories. hmm.. good memories. We don't talk anymore, and the saddest part is, we used to talk everyday. We have this mutual chatroom watsapp group that we literally chat everyday. Even things like "good morning" or "good nite" but all these stopped since last month. Falling in love with your bestfriend isn't as great as everyone makes it out to be.
Every time I trust someone new, they end up reminding why I shouldn't trust anyone at all. It suck coz this is not the first time.
Honestly I don't feel like working during this Summer break. I feel like flying straight home and help my papa and mama. I really really really miss them. like no joking. I miss them so much. Haven't been talking to mama lately. ahh.. I feel so guilty. She is really stressed about money. She has been constantly advice us to save money coz my sister is going to study in Melbourne soon and her uni fee is like 3-40k aud! That is like double of what I pay for mine. Sorry papa mama for letting you guys suffer so much to find money for us. I feel really really bad. I feel like a loser. I miss my family so much. I don't know if they miss me. ='(
Arrgghh... being alone in the house for so long that I don't remember the last time I actually talk. Like make sound from mouth. Hmmm..I think it was on the day my housemates moved out aka last saturday. That was only "Good morning". Mannn I really need more social life. I am not very happy with my campus friend. But I really enjoy the uni time and the labs.
Dear god. I really want to meet different friend. Like those that come from different countries. But why everywhere I go, people like to stay within their own culture group. I don't know why I always ended up with the same group of friend. I don't wanna look after people, I want to find those who can look after themselves and different person. I came here expecting to meet more people and have more choice. I doubt if I come to the right place. Maybe I am just not sociable enough.
ps: friends I meet here are good. Its just I am greedy and want more. I am 22 years old and embarrassed to say that my last relationship was almost a decade ago. FML. I am not waiting for THE ONE. My plan is to test out more than ONE to find THE ONE and maybe and hopefully get marry around 25-28. Shit. I only have like what. 3 years?! to reach my ideal marriage age. and I have met none. WTF am I doing for the past 5 years.
like seriously, FML
